rlfj: Blog

So much to write about this time! Obviously the big change is that Carling starts doing stuff with the Army. More on this in a moment.

I had a real head-scratcher of an email when I published this story on SOL:

“Considering the USA attacked Canada and a whole bunch of other countries in its war of conquest. Considering that the so-called American war of Independence was really about looting and pillaging British loyalists, and that thousands of loyalists were marched to their deaths in winter. And considering that Carling is a Southerner and so no fan of the Civil War. Considering all that, it's a wonder he talks like such a fucking dumbass about "protecting his country". And it's a wonder he can't see the Lefleur's point of view, who were an immigrant French Catholic family from Quebec. Part of the country that was attacked by the United States! The truth is Bob Lefleur is totally right, and Carling is a fucking idiot.”

Okay, so the writer isn’t a fan of the U.S. I understand that. After all, this is America, where every citizen has the God-given right to be a fucking asshole and have a moronic opinion. No, here’s the head-scratcher part: How the hell do you get all the way to chapter 41 reading about a certified patriot, when it was announced in chapter 21 that he was doing ROTC and joining the Army? Wouldn’t you have stopped earlier? Okay, so much for the comments about the reader from the cheap seats.

I belonged to an Army frat in college, and most of this chapter is taken directly from their stories from summer camp. Some of them liked it, some of them hated it, all of them talked about it. The part about the Blue and Orange armies is not completely true - I had to tone it down! What really happened was even more unbelievable!

In 1974, “BLAZING” and “SADDLES” was actually used as a sign-countersign. My buddies couldn’t believe it happened. The movie had come out that year and was one of the biggest comedies in movie history. That somebody would use something so recognizable simply was astonishing to them! What happened next was equally crazy. They didn’t capture the sentries and take them back as prisoners. No, my buddies managed to talk their way through the sentries, infiltrated the enemy positions, and were escorted to enemy headquarters. Once there, they tossed in some smoke grenades (simulated real grenades), grabbed some maps and other papers, ran outside, commandeered a Jeep plus the Orange army driver, and then forced him to drive them back to the Blue army.

Just about every veteran who read it wrote back how it reminded them of what really happened. The most common phrase was how funny it seems now, and how much of a pain in the ass it was then.

My kid brother was in the National Guard at the time (he is nowhere near as fucked up as Hamilton - he’s an asshole but he’s not crazy; there’s a difference!) and he told us stories about the Army and the Guard, but I always discounted them. He made armory sergeant after the previous armory sergeant managed to remove all the firing pins from their rifles and mixed them up. I would think they were interchangeable, but apparently not. My brother was promoted to armory sergeant to fix this problem, but it was a mixed blessing. The old sergeant was assigned as his assistant.

I think Dunnigan once wrote that the winning army isn’t the best army, but the least worst army. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Thank God the Russians were even more screwed up than we were!

Not too much to blog about, actually. More in the continuing adventures of Carling, as he takes Marilyn on another vacation. Chapter 40 simply looks at routine college life. Very little sex, but it’s at a level that’s comfortable to me. Some people want more and some people want less. I think it’s like politics - if nobody’s satisfied, you’ve probably got it right.

Here's a preemptive strike - In the last scene of chapter 37, some readers are going to protest Carl’s behavior. He should be a better person than he behaves. Well, maybe Carl’s human after all. Much gets resolved in 38 and future chapters.

Well, Chapter 34 turned out to be longer than I thought it would be. Maybe I should have split it into two or three chapters and heightened the anticipation. Or maybe not. Quite a few people seemed to like the longer format of the chapter. Starting with this chapter, we get to meet Marilyn’s family, a decided change from Carl’s, for good or for bad. Nothing is ever easy with this guy.

There was a question as to the named angels - Gabriel, Michael, and Raphael. It was suggested that I missed a few angels. However, in the recognized canonical Christian Bible, only the three mentioned are specifically named. Others, such as Uriel, Sariel, and others, are actually listed in various Apocrypha, such as the Book of Enoch. This is where the story of Lucifer, or Satan, as a fallen angel originates. Likewise, I am not including Moroni, named as an angel by the Mormons. Whether the Mormons are a cult or Christian is best left up to the Republican primary voters, since they seem to be the only ones overly worried about it. (My take - if they are a cult, they’re a pretty well-behaved cult. I’d rather put up with the Mormons than the Moonies!)

Don’t complain about what my thoughts are as to what caused all the sexual abuse problems in the Catholic church. I don’t think that we can argue that there is a problem. Likewise, I think it is a logical certainty that unless the church begins recruiting a lot more ‘normal’ priests, the problems will continue. The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over, and expect a different result. Unless they change their doctrine and recruitment practices, this problem ain’t going away!

Everybody seemed to like the warm reception back at the old homestead, and the brotherly affection shown to Hamilton by Carl. Now Hamilton disappears back into the woodwork for a while, gone but not forgotten, and his cheerful presence will be always be felt, much like herpes.

On the personal front, Carl finally gets around to, as Ricky would say, ‘drilling that well!’ The next few chapters will be getting a little steamy!

Technical note - There was a question about whether remote controls existed in the mid ‘70s. The answer is yes, but the equipment was limited. On televisions, it was limited to the big, expensive systems. They were common to cable modem boxes, which were becoming common in the affluent Baltimore suburbs at the time, and the Towson/Lutherville area was one of the most affluent.

They were even available in the late ‘60s & early ‘70s on very high-end cars as remote starters. When I was in my early teens (1969? 1970?) my Boy Scout troop had a car wash fundraiser at a local bank. A Cadillac pulled in, and the driver got out and let us start working on the thing. After a few minutes it started up all on its own! None of us had a clue and we all jumped back and stared, and it stopped. We looked over at the driver, but he wasn’t even looking at us. We just looked at each other and went back to work, and about two minutes later it happened again. This time we caught the driver grinning at us. He showed us the remote; none of us even knew things like that existed. One hell of a surprise!