rlfj: Blog

A lot of readers wrote to me about the last two chapters. One gave me a technical explanation of why double jeopardy would not apply. (Leaving aside the technical details, Georgia and the United States are considered separate sovereigns for court purposes. Many thanks, really, many thanks. I like to be accurate.) One gave me a lengthy response about how what I described in Conover County would have never been allowed by various state, federal, and bar associations. All the others fell into two categories. First was “Wow! I didn’t know you lived in [fill in the blank] County! You just described my home!” The second was to toss in some details, many of which focused on drugs and corruption.

What can I say about the last three chapters? Into every life some rain must fall? Longfellow said so, but I don’t think he had this in mind. Anyway, enjoy - or not.

Interesting compliment from samurai: ‘Nobody does tragedy like rlfj.’ Thank you, though I’m not quite sure what that says about me. In one way it’s sort of like being proclaimed the best serial killer. I’ll have to ask my wife what that means. I’m not sure I want to know her opinion, either.

Many commented with sadness that we don’t respect our veterans more when they pass. We went through this with my father when he died. He was in the Navy during WW2. Never saw any action, did his time, and got out, but we all knew he served, and we all respected him for it. When he died we got a petty officer and a boombox playing Taps. Fortunately, my nephew, an active-duty Marine, was home on compassionate leave and in uniform. He took over for the PO and did the presentation of the flag to my mother. A year later my nephew ended up in Fallujah, and my mother would pray to my father in Heaven to watch over him. That was considered odd to the rest of us, since she was really hard-core Lutheran, and we don’t believe in saints watching over us. It worked, sort of. He came home from Iraq whole in body and damaged in soul, with a serious dose of PTSD.

Several people noted that a Glock would be a lousy gun to kill a nest of snakes. Instead, Grim should have used a shotgun with buckshot. Okay, I don’t know shit about guns. That being said, two points. One, Grim doesn’t own a shotgun. Several times it is noted he has two handguns and an M-14 set up as a sniper rifle. Second, don’t forget Grim is such a great shot he could easily have got them that way. Anyway, as he said, he wasn’t ending the menace, but he had to do something. One reader pointed out that it is illegal to kill snakes in Georgia. Correct, but incomplete. It is illegal to kill non-venomous snakes in Georgia. Rattlesnakes are venomous, and we know he killed rattlesnakes because he heard the rattle.

Several dozen readers commented on killing snakes. It seems that there is an ammunition for the Glock.40 suitable for snakes, rats, and other pests. It’s called shotshell and is made by CCI in a #9 size. For those wondering why Grim didn’t kill the snakes with that, there’s no reason to think he would have that sort of ammunition. There are many different types of ammunition. I googled ‘40 S&W ammo’ and discovered the following types: target, full metal jacket, jacketed hollow point, ball, shotshell, fragmenting, lead free, and round nose flat point. There are probably more. While I can’t speak for all police officers, I would think it unusual for a single officer to have every single type preloaded in a magazine for emergency home use.

Some readers want Grim to donate his remains to science or a body farm when the time comes. The shot glass idea is my thought, which I trot out occasionally when I want to gross out my wife and offspring.

We are taking another break from Grim and returning to Carl Buckman. Don’t worry, though. Grim still has a few chapters to go.

One of my readers pointed out several problems with the scenario I wrote in the bank, pointing out all sorts of problems with what the sheriff did, the deputies’ actions, lawyers, etc. Did I go a bit over the top? Sure! Most of what has happened to the Grim Reaper has been over the top. As one of my editors noted to me, the man’s a shit magnet! However, does crap like this happen? Yes! I found it a strange coincidence that when I was reading my emails after first publishing this story I was watching four Minneapolis cops get fired when one of them knelt on a suspect’s neck until he died and the other three watched and did nothing. I know it’s not the same thing, but it was eerie!

Chapter 19 is a bit shorter than most and basically wraps up the M&M storyline. Come on - did you really expect the Grim Reaper to become a corporate shill?

Lots of people were happy to see Grim turn down the job at M&M. Most thought it wouldn’t be a good fit. I think that’s right. Several thought that M&M would try harder to get him on board, but one thing to consider is that M&M runs a system. If a candidate isn’t going to fit the system, they won’t let him create his own system. It will be the employee being changed, not the system.

Several years ago, we sold our housing company to a national chain. They were (and are) a very successful company, but they had a system. We were wined and dined and treated wonderfully, and paid a fair price, but when the dust settled and the papers were signed, we needed to fit into their system, or else. It was a family company, but a bunch of us were let go, another bunch got a pay cut, and the rest found themselves under a corporate microscope. Like I said, the employee changes, not the system. There was a reason I retired at 63.

Anyway, Grim doesn’t seem destined for a sales position, but will stay a consultant and expert. Probably for the best.

Now we get to see a totally different sort of police consulting. Do companies like this exist? You bet! Other than Miles & Madigan, the other companies are real. While researching this I went through their websites. Fascinating stuff.

The expensive dinner in Atlanta reminds me of a dinner I ‘hosted’ a dozen-and-a-half years ago or so. My son was stationed in Norfolk at the time, and we all went down to visit. It was my wife and eldest daughter and me, my youngest girl and her fiancé (now husband), and my son, his wife, and their baby daughter. Anyway, we decided to go to dinner in Virginia Beach, where I had never been before, and we parked near a place called Ruth’s Chris Steak House. I’d never really heard of it, just the name, and since Dumb Grandpa was paying, we went inside. I gulped when I saw the menu, but by then we were committed. At least we didn’t have to pay for the baby. For the seven adults the price was well over $500. At least we didn’t get the expensive stuff!

‘Be there with bells on’ has several possible sources. One is that medieval court jesters wore bells on their costumes. Most included the idea that it comes from the practice of putting bells on horse harnesses and straps, sometimes for parades and circuses, sometimes to pay off rescuers if your carriage or wagon went off the road. The expression itself dates back to at least the early 18th Century.

What I described in the M&M approach to Grim is pretty standard. I’ve worked with consultants and sold a business to another outfit, and this pretty much describes what happens. The same is true in chapter 18. I’ve been to corporate meetings and sales banquets like I wrote, and I’ve seen mouthy drunks at those meetings, too! Welcome to big business!

One of my police editors described a situation where his department in the Galveston area hired a consulting company. As he described it: “In the end, they gave us several really stupid recommendations that didn't fit what we did, and left us with a book of rules and regulations…it was printed front and back of each page and was about 2 inches thick…I managed not to run afoul of the injunction against wearing a sword on my uniform…and that is the story about how the Board of Trustees blew almost $100,000” There was a LOT more silly stuff he described. It’s like I’ve told my wife more than once about writing this story, I can’t make this shit up!

I’ve heard from numerous readers about wives and significant others having symptoms like what I wrote about and the results. I heard from people who had family members with ovarian cysts, torsions, fallopian tube problems, ectopic pregnancies, and all sorts of other things. These things are real and dangerous and require serious medical care. Many thanks to my medical editors. I think they gave me the info to get it right. The women’s clinic I mention is modelled after the Bellevue Women’s Center in Schenectady, where my youngest daughter had her daughters. Very good quality medical care but considering my daughter and my granddaughters, the results are questionable at best.

I got a lot of emails at the time on coronavirus. Even though the disease seemed to kill both Republicans and Democrats alike, not everybody believes that. I have been informed by conservatives that the death tolls were inflated because the CDC, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ordered doctors to report all deaths as Covid deaths. I found that curious, because the liberals informed me that the CDC ordered doctors to stop reporting Covid deaths in order to keep the death count low. I hope the guy at the CDC who gave the orders was keeping it straight! This gave me a headache. Oh, no! That’s a symptom!

Congratulations go out to Ursus32, who noted that Joe Scarborough talked about Grim ‘winning a chest full of medals including the Congressional Medal of Honor’ and how this was an error. Nobody wins medals, they are awarded, and it is actually the Medal of Honor and is simply presented in the name of Congress. They have nothing to do with it. I wrote this specifically that way. Does anybody out there think that an ex-politician reporter will understand his errors, or care? Or that Grim will correct him on Scarborough’s show when he is trying to get him to push his book and invite him back in the future?

Anyway, Grim is back to consulting. Let’s see where that goes. Enjoy!