rlfj: Blog

An interesting footnote. One of my readers couldn’t understand my references to whether evolution was real, and why somebody would be asked this. After a few emails it turned out he was from overseas, where this stuff is pretty well settled – the guys with the fossils won. He couldn’t believe the anti-science attitude of some of our leaders.

More fun and games for Carl, more grief from readers about politics. It would seem that unless Carl renounces his middle-of-the-road leanings I must have him renounce both his membership in the Republican Party and his American citizenship. If you’re a member of the Tea Party or MAGA, just stop reading and stop writing me. It will be easier on all of us. Thank you.

Carl and his sister getting back together again seemed to be an important point for a lot of readers, and it was going to happen at some point. However, for those readers who want them to be a lovey-dovey family again, that may not be realistic. Suzie has a new life halfway across the country, and the intervening years have taken a toll on them. Some things get damaged when this happens.

Sorry that Chapter 99 seemed short. Suzie has been a popular character in the story, and lots of people wanted her to be brought back more fully. I could have written a lot more about how the four adults spent days talking about things. Somehow that just didn’t seem right to me. Suzie is back in Carl’s life, but will she ever be a major part again? We’ll see her some more in the future, but a quick chapter was about all I could come up with.

In Chapter 100 the campaign starts getting underway. I repeat my thank-you’s to my various editors, who gave me a lot of pointers on running for office. No way in the world would I ever want to do this! Just a note on some useful source material. Hardball by Chris Matthews focuses on the Machiavellian methods used to make it into office and then stay there. It reads like a primer on getting things done in Washington, a touch boring at times, but very useful. Another interesting read is The Party Is Over by Mike Lofgren, on the effect money and campaign contributions have had on Congress. Lofgren is more than a little preachy on the Republicans and the Tea Party but doesn’t have much use for the Democrats either.

I had an interesting email which basically asked, “How can you write about people and use their names without being sued by them?” For example, I am discussing in a fictional setting meetings with prominent public figures such as Clinton, Bush, and Gingrich. For those who don’t already know the answer, in 1988 the Supreme Court ruled in Hustler Magazine v. Falwell that public figures can’t sue for defamation unless there is ‘actual malice.’ (This is a gross simplification, of course.) The key phrase here is ‘public figure’. Generally this is taken to mean just about any politician, performer, or other well-known person. In Carl’s case, as a simple businessman, no matter how wealthy, he would probably not be considered a public figure, but once he began writing his books and appearing on television and giving speeches, he would be certainly considered a public figure. For the sake of our story, this is how I can write fiction about various famous people but could get in serious trouble writing about my personal accountant, who sure ain’t a public figure!

My intrepid political editors include wino, stjoe56, and ednelson. I thought I knew a lot about politics, but they showed me I have a lot to learn. I rewrote a bunch of stuff, had it reviewed, and then rewrote some more. I’m sure it still ain’t perfect, but it’s a heck of a lot better now than before! Thanks guys!

Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it! One of my readers wanted bonus points for coming up with Eloi as well as the Morlocks. I replied that you only get bonus points in that case for some good recipes for Eloi (The Morlocks ate the Eloi.) Wouldn’t you know it – he sent me a recipe for Eloi Chops, best served with mint jelly!

So, as I was busy laughing, I Googled “cannibal recipes” and found any number of websites. An appropriate comment was found under a recipe for Marinated Leg of In-Laws – “Preparing human flesh for consumption can be tricky. Knowing what seasonings and methods of cooking can be difficult but with this simple recipe guide you'll be serving your friends and family in no time.” And you thought it was just liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Something to think about the next time your kids are giving you grief. Just show them some recipes, they’ll start behaving in no time at all! You won’t be known as a tender father, you’ll be known as a tenderizing father!

As to the story, well, for those of you who didn’t want Carl going into politics, sorry about that. I’ve been building in this direction for quite a while now. For those who wanted Carl to run for Senator or President, I think this is a little more realistic!

Now, a note for the ultra-realists in the audience. There is no Maryland Ninth Congressional District. Maryland only has eight districts, so I had to come up with one for Carl to run in. The Maryland Ninth is actually a fair-sized chunk of the real Maryland Sixth. Let’s see how it works out for Carl.

I had a very interesting email in response to the politics. The essence is as follows: Carl would never have run for Congress. With his bucks he could run for something big, like Senator or Governor. I actually considered some of these ideas, although I am not going to give any spoiler alerts. Let’s consider the alternatives:

President – The big enchilada! Forget it! Carl will never get either political party to consider a political novice for President. (This was long before Donald rode his golden escalator into history.) That leaves him to run as a third-party candidate, which has never worked in American history. If Carl wants to be President, his best shot is to first become:

Governor – Most people would be surprised to learn that more Governors have become President than Senators. So, if Carl wants to become President, he should first run for Governor. One minor issue, the Governor of Maryland at the time was William Donald Schaefer, who in 1990 was finishing his first term as Governor and about to run for re-election. To put it bluntly, Schaefer was the most popular and powerful Maryland politician of his generation, and Carl didn’t need to be a time traveler to know that. He had seen Schaefer as Baltimore Mayor already. Carl could have bought every ad slot on Maryland television for a year and still not been able to become Governor. Being rich hasn’t always succeeded buying a Governor’s mansion in the past. While it worked for George W. Bush, George Romney, and Mitt Romney, it failed for Thomas Golisano, Meg Whitman, and Al Checchi. So, since Maryland Governor is out, maybe Carl can run for:

Senator – This one might actually work. It would be expensive, but that is obviously not a problem for Carl. One minor problem though – in 1990 there were no Senate races in Maryland! The next race would be for Barbara Mikulski’s seat in 1992, followed by Paul Sarbanes in 1994. They were almost as popular as Schaefer was as Governor. It looks like Carl has to run for:

Representative – Funny how that worked out. In addition, if Carl starts as a Congressman, he might be able to leverage that up in the future. On the plus side, the House in the 1990s was one of the most dynamic places to be in government. Carl might have some fun. Let’s see how that works out.

And a final note – Goodbye to all the readers who are leaving. Several have written saying I have destroyed the story. I am not going to try and argue with them. If they don’t like politics of any sort, or don’t like Carl’s politics, or mine (not necessarily the same thing), I can’t convince them to keep reading. Carl has become incredibly prominent by this point. Politics are a natural choice, either on the main stage or behind the scenes. The only other choice would be to retire to the Bahamas and drink himself to death. Sounds lame to me. So, farewell, adieu, ta-ta, adios, sayonara, and au revoir. Try not to trash my scores on the way out the door. Thanks.

Carl is beginning to get political. If you don’t like that, fine, but you should stop reading. Just remember that this story was written in 2011-2012. The Republican Party and American politics are vastly different now.

I heard from the Tea Party about Carl. Carl isn’t a fiscal conservative. He is apparently a socialist, communist, liberal, or Democrat (take your pick). First things first – in 1987 there was no Tea Party! If somebody had said ‘tea party’ to Carl, it would have been one of his daughters inviting him to an imaginary tea party with their dolls and stuffed animals. Carl would certainly have joined that tea party!

In many ways I found the Tea Party an interesting, if strange, result of a number of separate things. First and foremost, of course, was the really desperate and screwed up financial situation the country was in. We owed trillions of dollars to China and other places, money we had no hope of ever repaying, and had deficits planned as far as the eye can see. This really fucked over the middle class. Their jobs and money went overseas, and there was a lot of pain left. Believe me, I felt that pain, too!

Second, we had a liberal president. Obama beat McCain not because of the strength of his arguments, but because Bush 43 was so incredibly unpopular and could be blamed for the economy and a couple of bad wars. Unfortunately, he radically misread his mandate. He thought people wanted a liberal, when they really wanted anybody but a Republican. Combine that with being black, an incredible number of people didn’t want him. Find yourself a Tea Partier who is white and only has a high school diploma (from what I can see, the vast majority of them, but that’s a separate topic) and get a few drinks in him; the racism comes out! ‘We have to get the nigger out of the White House!’ – unquote.

Carl is a fiscal conservative. He is an old school business Republican, the type of guy who is on the Chamber of Commerce, hates regulation, and isn’t real thrilled with his taxes, but likes a fair bit of what government provides, like cops and roads and bridges, etc. He isn’t all that socially conservative and is willing to work with others. He is smart enough to know that to get things done you will probably need to compromise – which is how you do things in business. This is one of the reasons the Tea Party and conservative base of the Republican Party don’t like him.

Carl is the kind of Republican that can’t understand the Tea Party and can’t figure out how to get them to do anything constructive. Look at John Boehner in Congress and you saw this type of business Republican. He couldn’t control his own party and didn’t understand them. Like a lot of us, he saw them complaining about Obama’s government-run health system and then complaining ‘Leave my Medicare alone!’ – and can only scratch his head at the reasoning.

I received a huge response to recent chapters, about half for the story and about half for the blog. That was about what I expected. Some really interesting responses. Some agreed with me, some disagreed (violently in a few cases), some were in the middle. One really good email (actually quite thoughtful) referred to the Tea Party as Morlocks (nice image there, bonus points for everybody who gets it!)

I did get a warning to stop any discussion of politics, since it will turn my readers off. I also got lots of emails from people who want Carl to go into politics. Anybody want to tell me how to write such a thing without discussing politics or getting political? We have, as Carl the mathematician would say, a mutually exclusive binary set.