rlfj: Blog

My wife and I had an amusing conversation this morning. The morning news had a segment on the Epstein files, and I commented to her that Carl Buckman would have been actively recruited by Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislain Maxwell. My wife readily agreed, saying that Carl was rich and powerful, exactly who Epstein wanted around him. I told her Carl would have certainly been invited but he would have taken Marilyn to the island. She agreed with that, too, but then she said as soon as Marilyn saw what Epstein was up to, she would have hustled Carl out of there, and he would have never gone back. Carl was pussywhipped by his wife, which we both had a good laugh over.

Several people have asked when somebody was going to catch on to Carl’s broken nose. I had this planned all along.

150 has a bunch of different things going on. Some people like the political stuff, some like the speeches, some like the humor. I think there’s a little of everything in 150.

I had one reader comment on my ‘love affair’ with John Boehner. Personally, I have no love for the man. Carl, on the other hand, considers Boehner a personal friend. Carl can also distinguish between being a friend and being an effective leader. They are not the same thing.

Well, 146 proved pretty popular. A common comment was that it was too bad a real President couldn’t give an interview like that. Well, as I mentioned early on, the character traits necessary to become President are precisely the traits least useful in being President. By the time a politician actually gets to that point he and his entire family are highly trained professionals, portraying something quite bland and insipid, without any spontaneity or real feeling.

Then again, every once in a while, something different happens. Jerry Ford had never really intended to run for President, but Nixon plucked him out of Congress to replace Agnew. He and his family were surprisingly open to the public. Betty Ford admitted to being an alcoholic, and that she had gotten a mastectomy. They also admitted that when they moved into the White House they had moved out the separate beds that Richard and Pat Nixon had used, and they shared a bed. She had been a dancer and model prior to her first marriage, which ended in divorce. She also made comments on her children’s possible use of marijuana and pre-marital sex. In 1974 this was all rather scandalous!

I am sure there will be arguments about some of the programs Carl is killing or keeping. I think one thing which is sure is that GWB was much too impressed with the Pentagon and all the wonder weapons and didn’t have enough experience to know that most of the stuff wouldn’t work and would all come in for much more in price. Let’s see how that plays out.

Chapter 146 should be a lot more amusing for everybody and will play a part in future chapters as well.

I had an interesting question from a reader, who commented on how callous Carl was about Russian human rights violations. Did I approve of violating human rights? Well, no, of course not. I’m not a monster and neither is Carl. However, he is the President of the United States, not of Russia or China or Iran or Chechnya or any other place. If he spends the next four years squawking about human rights all over the globe, he won’t accomplish anything and won’t be re-elected, either. Remember Jimmy Carter? Great human being, shitty President! I have no doubt that Jimmy will loudly and publicly disapprove of Carl’s performance at some point. I am also sure that Carl couldn’t care less.

Quite a few comments on who Carl was picking as VP and Cabinet heads. McCain was a great choice; McCain was a disaster! Pick this guy or pick that guy! Too late, folks. Just like Carl, I had to make a pick. None of these people, Carl included, walk on water. Just like Carl, you will have to live with the choices. As Carl told Charlie, “Suck it up!”

I am amazed that nobody picked up on President Blue. It felt like the old Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, when Johnny and Doc Severinsen played ‘Stump the Band’ and dared the audience to come up with requests for little known songs. I actually beat you guys on this one!

President Blue refers to a very old comedy album. In the early 1960s, a Boston stand-up comic named Vaughn Meader began doing a routine impersonating President Kennedy’s very distinctive Harvard accent. In 1962 he joined with a bunch of writers, and they created a comedy album, The First Family. It was an overnight sensation and sold over 7 million copies. It was an absolutely hilarious parody of the Kennedy family and administration. In one segment, ‘Jackie’ is giving a tour of the White House, and said, “This is the Blue Room. We've tried to keep it just the way President Blue left it originally.” My parents (nowhere near as nutty as Carl’s!) owned a copy. As a child, I listened to it many, many times, and memorized huge parts. One favorite spot was when the neighbor’s kids came over to play, and when being told that Caroline wasn’t home, asked, “Can Lyndon come out to play?” Is it any wonder I ended up a hard-core political junkie? I think we can take it for granted that more than a few people who work at the White House (like the Secret Service agents who were laughing) would know about the album.

On a tragic note, JFK was killed a little over a year later. Suddenly you couldn’t give the album away, and Vaughn Meader was out of a job. He was totally typecast and never really had a good job afterwards. He sank into depression and alcoholism and drugs, before reinventing himself as a very small-time country music singer in Maine. He died in 2004.

Several people commented that American aircraft carriers can’t go anywhere near Pakistan because the Pakistanis are a nuclear power. How come a smart guy like Carl doesn’t know that? Well, the fact of the matter is that we don’t care and have never particularly cared. We have had more than a few disagreements with them over the years, but we have never backed down because of Pakistani nukes. We routinely maneuver carriers in the northern Arabian Sea. So a few things to remember: 1) The Pakistani’s true enemy, at least in their minds, is India, not us. 2) Yes, they have missiles; no, they don’t have targeting systems capable of hitting maneuvering American ships out at sea. 3) The Pakistani military runs the country, not the other way around. They have a very realistic expectation of what would happen in a non-land engagement with American forces.

The indoor White House swimming pool was covered over by Nixon, and the room was converted to the Press Briefing Room. A few years later Ford had an outside pool built. As for the indoor pool, it is still there, and empty, and the deep end is under the podium. BTW – Johnson really did go skinny-dipping in the indoor pool.